People pleaser problems. Love yourself.

 Good morning. It's actually afternoon now! Oops! I've been busy playing video games, super productive, right? Not really but it was fun. Can you guys let me know some video games you guys like? Anyway, today I want to talk about people pleasing, or setting aside our mental health for people. It's something many people go through, yet nobody talks about. Have you ever done something that you weren't completely okay with just to make someone happy? Have you ever set aside your feelings for someone else? Well, I spoke to a girl earlier and she made me feel less alone. She said she has a problem with people pleasing and setting aside what's best for her to make other people happy. I honestly relate to her, and she gave me the idea to talk and spread awareness about this. Like always, if you can relate to this, feel free to leave a comment. 

 People pleasing. It's something that's super overlooked and can hurt so many people. Have you ever done something to please somebody even though you weren't 100% happy with what you were doing? I have. There have been times in my life where I was completely unhappy, just so I could have someone around that didn't truly care for me. There have been times in my life where I did things that I didn't want to do because I thought it would make someone happier with me. Why do we do things that hurt us for attention that'll last 5 minutes? A month? Is it truly worth it to cut yourself down and make yourself miserable just for someone to like you for a little bit? As i grow and meet people, I realize I need to be kind to myself. I realized overtime how I feel matters. Being around the right people in my life have reminded me that prioritizing my mental health is actually super important. So many people overlook how they feel, and we should always take care of ourselves first. 

 My aunt might have to get a pacemaker in her chest. She's been unwell, fainting, heart has slowed down. She was put in the hospital and had to do a bunch of scans. We've all been super worried. But one thing she always did, was put other people first. My aunt is a nurse and the whole time she was being checked out, she was worrying about other people. She said, " I'm fine, let me go to work and help people who actually need it." She was supposed to relax and take time for herself but all she wanted to do was go back to work and help people. To have that much empathy for people and that much kindness is incredible, and I look up to that, but my aunt also needs to take time and give herself a break. I think it's important we know when to give ourselves a break or we can burn ourselves out.

 Have you ever felt disgusted doing things to please people? Have you ever felt sick, and like people will judge you? Well, now that we're all here spilling secrets, let me just say, It's okay. You're not judged. You're seen and so many people relate. Do you know how many girls I have met that cried and felt nasty doing things for a guy just so he'd stayed a little longer? Do you know how many guys I talked to that changed their style or their hair for a girl to notice them? It's so looked over but it's serious and sad. Why should we have to do things or change ourselves for people? I want you all to know that it's okay to put your foot down and stand up for your feelings. It's okay to say " actually, I like your company, but this makes me uncomfortable." It's okay to say " hey, it was nice talking but I'm not going to belittle myself in this way to make you like me." It's okay to say " hey, I can't come to work today. I haven't showered in three weeks, a family member passed, and I need a day to be nice to myself." It's okay to take care of yourself and be there for yourself. 

 I've met many people with bad paranoia. I've met people who thought that if they didn't do something, bad things could happen to them. It's even worse when the people who are not validating how you feel make you scared, like you have to do what they want. Having paranoia and being a people pleaser doesn't sound like a good combination. I once met a girl who told me someone told her to hurt herself, and that if she didn't do it, she could get hurt by someone else. It's super sad and I luckily helped her out but it's just sad. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to do something for someone. I've been there. I've stripped myself naked and been humiliated at the age of fourteen because I genuinely thought I had to. I was manipulated. It's not okay and if anyone has ever made you feel like it is, speak up. You need to come to senses with yourself and be kind. Be kind to the little boy or girl inside of you. They don't deserve this. You don't deserve this. 

 I honestly am a little emotional. So many people set aside what they love, believe, feel and for what? So, we can keep a friend? So, we aren't alone? I promise you there are people who will love you for you and help you with your mental health. I promise there will be days you have someone who says " Hey, take a break from that. I love you, be nice to yourself." I promise there are people who will notice you're uncomfortable and say " Hey, let's watch a movie instead". And I promise, you are not disgusting for trying to make someone love you. It hurts. You're not disgusting for being too sick to shower, brush your teeth, go into work. We need to be kinder to ourselves, and I think doing that takes a lot sometimes. I hope you all can put yourself first. I hope you all can love yourself more. Talk soon, bye bye!